I just needed to be reminded.

After yesterday's pity party, a good cry, a long nap, and a morning of worship music were all that I needed to realize how much I love my life. God is just so good, y'all. I mean I was seriously broken yesterday, I just wanted to start my day all over and try again, with a smile and waterproof mascara.

I am not saying that I will never have a bad day again but what I am saying is that because I was at a point of saying "God, I cannot do this anymore, please help me." He did!

 

After I had a good cry (embarrassingly at work, in the breakroom) I texted my friend and said:

 

"Hey, I'm really sorry about my tear fest!!

I really do love Jesus so much and know his plans are

far better than I can ever imagine, no matter the outcome!

My heart is just aching so, the goodness in it all

is a bit hard to see. "

 

My friend's response was this:

 

"Seriously, there is no need to apologize! You are amazing!

Just remember, all of this pain, all of this confusion,

everything that you are experiencing right now

is being used to shape and mold you to his image.

I know you know that, but it's always

good to be reminded :)"

 

 

 

I think that is all I needed, was to be reminded that it is okay to be really sad and know how loved I am at the same time. I think that sometimes I get so worried that my physical and mental pain will hide Jesus's love in my heart and I never want to be a stumbling block for anyone. I want to be a light, an encouraging friend, an honest, loving woman. My prayer is that even when I take a moment to write about how badly my heart hurts, it will someday be such a testimony for how good God is. How completely incredible his love and faithfulness is to his children. I pray that in my vulnerability, honesty, and moments of weakness that God will use that for others to know that they are not alone in the fight. We live in a fallen world full of sin, sadness, death, and hatred but, we are not alone. There are always others that may not know what you are going through or feeling but, they will hold your hand and love you through it all!

 

 

I think there are days when all we need to hear is "go ahead, just cry. Just let it out and be sad!"

Surround yourselves with people who will let you just have a bad day, without any judgment but, will not let you stay there for long because they love you too much.

 

Sometimes, you just need to be reminded that it is okay to cry.

 

 

I pray that as I go through this journey or walk with my friends and family though their journey's that my sadness, joy, words, actions, mourning, rejoicing, and heart all bring praise you, Lord.

 

"Let the songs I sing bring joy to you
Let the words I say confess my love
Let the notes I choose be your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after you"

 

xo, Courtney Beth