Life is so weird, ya know!? At such a young age, we are taught that you grow up, go to school, get a job, get married, have babies, and live happily ever after.
Why don't story books talk about the cool infertile aunt?
Okay, I get it, it really isn't a dream come true to go through this journey but, if I am completely honest, I feel like I am becoming the woman that God intended me to be because of my journey and I am actually thankful that I was chosen.
wow. I never thought I would say that.
(also, don't get me wrong...I am not overjoyed about my journey but, I am happily accepting God's joy)
It is obvious (and I try to be honest) that I struggle pretty much daily with various things but, guess what!? The things that I have been struggling with the most, God has immediately shown me scripture to calm my heart and show me truth! Isn't he so good, goodness, how can people go through any trial without God's perfect love? Even on the days when I am angry and heartbroken, I know the he is good.
Here are my biggest struggles that have been revealed by powerful scripture:
It is hard to believe that God will use infertility to show me how much he loves and cares for me.
"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."
1 Peter 4: 12-13
I do not want to be defined by PCOS or infertility-I do not want infertility to consume my heart.
"Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise him for the help of his presence."
Psalm 42:5
I do not want my heart to become hurt and bitter-I want to rejoice with others.
"May the God of Hope fill you with all the joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Romans 15:13
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice."
Ephesians 4:31
Wanting my earthly desires more than God's plan for my life.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
My life is still full of:
medications, good months, bad months, date nights, doubt, doctors, negative pregnancy tests, coffee, questioning, excessive hair growth, raspberry tea, friends, high stress, laughing, ttc cysters, too many instagram photos, family, Seth, Kaldi, Elmo, wigs, cysts, Etsy shopping, girls weekends, prayer, clothes that no longer fit, dancing, crying daily, singing, and living.
I am free and confident in Christ.
I am thankful for all that is in my life, the good, bad, weird, and scary.
"However, as it is written: 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him..."
1 Corinthians 2:9-10
"Rejoice aways, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
xo, Courtney Beth
"She is clothed in strength and dignity
and she laughs without fear of the future"
Proverbs 1:25
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