Today has been very...bleh. Since I had my ultrasounds, I haven't been feeling too great but today, I could hardly deal! Imagine having a balloon inside of you, that would be uncomfortable, right? Now imagine that balloon having needles on it, that is how I feel today. I tried to push through it, take medicine, and used a heating pad when I could but, the pressure also really bothers my leg and my job involves a lot of walking which accelerated the pain. With opening up about this journey, that obviously means that people will talk to me about it, which is great and answers my prayers completely however, for a person who has been hiding this for a while, I felt very overwhelmed. With my pain increasing but, knowing that my smile could no longer hide it, I felt very embarrassed, anxious, and as my dad would say..."high stress!" In the moment, I truly did not know how to cope with the emotions and I wanted to quickly write on Facebook or on here "Never mind everyone, nothing is wrong at all! I was just kidding!" Quickly after that thought, I remembered the incredible response I received with my story and all of the amazingly sweet messages and comments spoken...even from people I do not know! That is exactly what God told me would happen and I am so thankful that my mind is aligning with my heart by remembering why this is my journey, for his glory! As I sit here resting, feeling like I could go on for hours about the pain I feel, I cannot get help but feel the pain diminish because of all the beautiful words said to me and that is why I want this to be about YOU and our incredible JESUS!
54 men and woman have commented on my first writing, several I have never met.
20 men and woman have messaged me, again, several I have never met.
19 men and woman have sent me text messages.
11 men and woman hugged me at work.
4 women have called me.
1 sister sent me a card.
1 God is healing me.
Seriously, look at those numbers! 106 men and woman have reached out to me, prayed for me, and loved on me! Is it because I am a great writer? NO! It's Jesus! I didn't even think anyone would take the time to read the story, let alone write to me about it! Woman have reached out to me with struggles of their own, some asking for ME to pray for them and I tell you, I AM! The difficult moments, the blessings, and the prayer I received today from you amazing people is shaping this journey to be exactly what God is intending it to be, a love story!
Thank y'all for your beautiful part in this journey; with a day full of tears, pain, and my terribly anxious heart, y'all helped create sadness into the joy that I am now seeing at the end of the day! I continue to pray that something I say will help you see Jesus's light in your dark days and that the Murphree's maybebaby journey will bless you as much as writing these words are blessing me. I am going to say goodbye with a song I heard on the radio today that I feel will be a favorite during this journey and I want you to hear it as well because there are just days when the best thing to say is "Jesus!"
xo, courtney
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