Auntie ILY.

When going through this journey, I have realized just how blessed I am! The immense love I have for my family and friends can never truly be written because words cannot describe the amazing people in my life! Between my family, Seth's family, and our incredible friends from past and present...I know that I can get through anything. Lately, I haven't been the best kind of friend a friend can have and I openly admit that. I feel as if I have given 60% to everything because I've been so consumed in my own worries that I cannot really focus on anything. It's been needed though, to step back and have time alone to reflect and all the while, people still love me and I can say that my heart is grasping on to true friendships and treasuring family even more! I'm thankful for this season to grow, process, and be loved even when I feel very unlovely. So many people come to my mind when I think about friendships and family; I am thankful!

When our little Murphree is in this world, oh how loved they will be!

This blog is about a real gem, my sister, Ashley.

Oh what a beautiful sister she is! We are 3 years apart and perfectly different from one another and undoubtedly the best of friends! A sister is the most special relationship and at times the hardest! As a little girl I always wanted to be just like Ashley! Even with her circle glasses and silly smiles; she was always the prettiest girl I knew! So talented, too! Oh how I wished to be just like her so, I did what most sisters would do; I wore her clothes. Uh oh! I think looking back on our "fights" they were mostly about me wearing her clothes. It was worth it though, in those moments, I felt just as beautiful as Ashley! When she was a senior and I was a freshman and we shared a locker...man, did I think I was cool; I loved being "The Graham girls!" We did everything together and I wouldn't change a moment. Not even a fuss! Thinking about how quickly time has gone, I get a bit sad because I loved our childhood together! The only reason why I am sad though is because we will never be "little girls" again, we will never play with Barbies for hours, making up dances, and with our American Girl dolls. No, little girls grow up and life keeps moving forward. If we stayed little girls though, then we would never have the beautiful lives we live today! Even in the midst of my pain, I absolutely love my life! Little girls grow into lovely ladies. I will, of course, treasure our childhood but, I also look to the future with great joy and excitement! The years of wishing to be my sis are no longer here because, I love being me but, I still look up to her in everything! She is so smart, talented, beautiful, a great organizer, singer, mother, wife, daughter, and sister! I love watching her with Lola and Jordan, it's the sweetest thing to see. Ashley could easily mask my heartbreak and struggle right now and do the normal "check in" but she has done more for me on this journey that she probably realizes! I know she has always loved me, she has no choice...and I'm awesome! Since April, it has become so real about what a sisters love is! Unconditional. Ashley has sent me letters, "spa" gifts, encouraging pictures, lets me complain, cry, and she happily let me borrow her yellow bow shirt! Wow. God's love is in her and she has held my hand every step! Ashley is a constant voice in my head telling me "you're an overcomer" "you are fearless" "you are loved" "you are worth it!" At times I feel so unworthy of a sister like Ashley but, God chooses who is in our life and I think he gave me the best! Thank you Ash for your never ending love and support in life and now on this journey; you are an incredible person!
When I don't want to think about the road ahead I remember who God blessed me with to hold my hand since we were little and the road doesn't seem so lonely.
You're not just my sister, you're my best friend!

xo, courtney